WHAT IS THAT SILLY SLIT IN MY SPANX?

THE SECRET TO THE SLIT IN YOUR SPANX…


Boys laugh at bathroom banter. 

Bathroom

But as gabby as us gals can be, the bathroom…is usually A BOYCOTTED subject.

-3

And while I agree the loo should stay, lets say, a "dirty little secret," there are times we need to break protocol for the betterment of women kind.

When I worked on "The Tyra Banks Show" I had heard a rumor from Tyra herself that you can go to the bathroom without pulling your Spanx down.  But I have to be
honest, she talked about a lot of things I would never try at home so I
sort of dismissed the thought.  I would just yank, and tug, and pull
down…then I would hope that no "overflow" would hit the wad of nylon
wrapped around my ankles as I stood hovering over the toilet seat.

 

 

Tangledspanx

 

Finally, I would pray as I did the "running man"
in place, pulling the Spanx back up.  I hoped an angel would land them exactly where
they had been…so they would not slip and create a fat roll..

…until
one day when one of my best girlfriends changed my life.

At a wedding, my friend Carolyn said,
"You know the hole is for peeing, right?"

You see, I had been wearing
Spanx since the dawn of Spanx, and I never noticed that my new Spanx now
had a slit in them.

Perplexed, I looked down and there it was, staring
right at me…

Spanx003

Terrified, I said , "No way!  If I miss, I'm screwed for
the rest of the wedding because I will have to ditch the Spanx and reveal
the burrito baby I am hiding!".

She fed me a few more cocktails and
coaxed me back into the ladies room where she told me to literally sit,
spread, and lean forward.  I was terrified to say the least, but Carolyn was not letting me at out that stall until I performed. And low and behold… a few rum and cokes and a glass of water later, it worked!

Now ladies, you
are going to have to trust me on this one.  I know it's scary but I
swear it works!  I highly suggest the buddy system because it will ease your fears.  Carolyn was taught
by her friend Emily…and now girls, it is my turn to pass the torch.

I know you are mortified,when I told my good friend Josie, she was too….
 

-7

But I explained to her she needed to focus on all the free time she will have once her Spanx bathroom trips are reduced from 25 minutes to 5!  And I pointed out that I am basically issuing a Public Service Announcement… after a few glasses of wine, she reluctantly agreed to let me show her just how the deed is done.

 

Step 1:   Do not be afraid to sit on the seat . Think of the Spanx as a seat cover.

-6

Step 2:  In a seated squat position lean as far forward as you can…

(without falling in of course)

Now take a deep breath… and relax

Toiletlean2

When you lean forward all the way the slit will open naturally like this…
Slitopen

  Step 3Trust your Spanx will not spill!

Victory

Now that wasn't so bad was it?  Today, I leave you with one last word of advice.  Proceed with caution if you have the newest model of Spanx.

110-gal-spanx-nude_300

 

The kind like this where your bra attaches to the Spanx.

I hear it tends to shift the slit just slightly to the right…which I am sure you can imagine could be…a little messy.

CHEERS TO BLISSFUL BATHROOM BREAKS IN YOUR FUTURE!

XOXO

KK

 
*Lifein2lemonade is edited by Ryan Howard

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11 Comments

amy kate

about 9 years ago Reply

I love that you didn't notice it! I am a bit more...let's say "open" with things like this than most of my friends like, but I LOVE this innovation because, really? Once I have that puppy in place, I do NOT want to rearrange it. I spend 20 minutes tucking rolls into specific spots and can't guarantee recreating that after a bit of booze and no personal mirror. WTG!

kk

about 9 years ago Reply

Amy , HAHA! I totally understand. As horrific as the conversation is... it is a necessary evil. Thanx for reading! xoxox Love and Light KK

Marla

about 9 years ago Reply

Thank god for this! Now I won't be getting the stink-eye from the line of ladies waiting for me to come out of the loo. Woo hoo!

d.r.

about 9 years ago Reply

lmao! i must admit, i hesitated to keep reading but i liked your 'public service announcement' point of view. i have to say the only thing about the slit for me is the feeling of 'airy-ness' when i wear them with a skirt or dress.

kk

about 9 years ago Reply

D.R. Trust me I understand the hesitation it is one of those things no one wants to talk about but everyone wants to know! Thank you for commenting:)

marie lemerise

about 9 years ago Reply

I am going to the Spanx shop at GCS in NYC as soon as I get back from Tampa. What a revelation! And I so love the idea that the newly devised bottom is a seat cover as well as a proper pee sluice. And thanks for the belly laugh as I sit in my hotel room with a glass of wine debating whether to work or just crash for the night. marie

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